{"id":55,"date":"2008-11-24T09:45:42","date_gmt":"2008-11-24T16:45:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/?p=55"},"modified":"2008-11-24T09:45:42","modified_gmt":"2008-11-24T16:45:42","slug":"conversation-with-n-late-october","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/?p=55","title":{"rendered":"Conversation with N, late October"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i>Interesting conversation, definitely related to autism, that I&#8217;m mostly posting here just so I remember it in the future&#8230;<\/i><\/p>\n<p>We were driving home from town, just N and me, and it was night-time, thus dark in the car, and N was in the back seat.  This is important because of the detachment that provided to the conversation.<\/p>\n<p>I told N that I loved him, and he told me (and this is now paraphrasing from my faulty memory, which was mostly consumed by driving b\/c i was being tailgated) that he didn&#8217;t actually love anyone; he just pretended to love us and when he was old enough to not have to depend on us he would reveal himself as a fraud.  He wasn&#8217;t joking; I thought he was, at first, and laughed, and then realized he was serious.  He kept calling himself a fraud and saying that he felt that he had to pretend.<\/p>\n<p>We finally decided that he does love reading, and he very strongly likes certain foods (mostly apples), and he does like certain people but he doesn&#8217;t  love them.  He only says it because he feels like he should, so we take care of him, so we wouldn&#8217;t hate him.<\/p>\n<p>N then asked if we would still give him his college money that was in our bank account once we knew he was a fraud.<\/p>\n<p>I tried to explain different kinds of love to him, and told him that no matter what I would always love him, as I&#8217;ve told him many times before, but I thought the conversation was interesting regardless and wanted to write it down before I forgot it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Interesting conversation, definitely related to autism, that I&#8217;m mostly posting here just so I remember it in the future&#8230; We were driving home from town, just N and me, and it was night-time, thus dark in the car, and N &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/?p=55\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=55"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=55"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=55"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.tabloyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=55"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}