Author Archives: tara

Well, a seven-year-old’s jokes; the jokes themselves are newly minted. N: Why did the hotdog cross his diet? Me: Uh, I don’t know. Why? N: Because somebody had turned it into a hotdog-eating human and so it ate itself because … Continue reading →

N: We aren’t human beans, are we? Me: Yes, we are human beings. N: No we aren’t; I said human BEANS. N: Are we human corn ears? Are we, mama? Me: GO EAT, crazy child.

T has decided Pepper, our dog, is his cow, and is trying to herd her into a “cage” that he made. (He tried, and failed, to lasso her earlier. She thought it was much fun.) He’s walking back and forth … Continue reading →

We’re engaged in a power struggle over food, as usual. He wants the pumpkin bread, and I want him to eat something healthy first. He comes over to me, looks at me determinedly, and says: “Mama, I command you to … Continue reading →

I just told T he couldn’t have a yogurt stick until he ate his chicken sandwich. (You have to eat something healthy before you get to the pure crap.) He looks at me, screws up his face, and STOMPS away, … Continue reading →

I tend to have trouble, in the moment, differentiating between reality and a dream. As, for example, when I woke my husband up screaming because a man with a tomato cage was attacking me. (In my defense, I was pregnant … Continue reading →