It’s easy to see whose kid this is.

Trying to keep N happy during a dim-sum lunch at MuDu Noodles (yum!), I was having him figure out small words he could make from larger ones. (You know, I’d give him “happiness” and he’d come up with sip, sin, nips, spin, etc.) I gave him the word “traverse” and watched as he figured out four or five before giving up. He whined that he couldn’t come up with any more, and I prompted him:
Me: What are junipers and pinons? (Imagine the tilde over the “n” please — I don’t know how to make it show up. Obviously I’m going for “tree” here.)
N, confusedly: But there aren’t enough letters to make “conifer”, mom!

(And yes, I have been informed that junipers aren’t actually conifers, as they have berries instead of cones. You learn something every day.)

Strange children.

N, to T: I wish you had died before you were born!
T, to N: I wish you were alive before you were even born!
N & T, together: ha-ha

Hairs are being split here…

8-y-o N, carrying the Family Fun Easter issue: Mama, did you get up in the middle of the night and hide the easter baskets?
Me: No. It’s not even Easter yet, silly child.
N: In past years did you?
Me: Honey, I try not to get up in the middle of the night for anything, unless you or your brother really really needs me.

Note how cleverly I avoided the real question without actually lying…