Things that don’t go bump in the middle of the night

T: My dream woke me up.  Wanna know how?
Me: No.   OK, yes, how did your dream wake you up?
T: It made an unhearable sound.

Oh, of COURSE …

As if I needed more proof that my family’s strange?

T: I wonder what we’ll have for breakfast tomorrow.
My husband: How about oatmeal?
T, eagerly: How about SARDINES?

(No, he wasn’t joking.)

A master of understatement…

T comes over for help zipping his coat to go outside, and I realize he’s wearing snow pants and a coat but no shirt. I mention, casually, “You know, some people choose to wear a shirt under their coat when they’re going outside, to help stay warmer.”
T: I know, but I’m a much different person than they are.