Fun with the alphabet…

So we’re talking with T this morning, and he’s challenging us to come up with words that start with certain letters.  We start with “S”, and come up with silly and synchronicity and sarcasm and such.  (My husband’s participating in this, if you can’t tell.)  Then he says “Zebra”, and I say “That’s not an “s”, that’s a “z”.”  My husband and I then start feebly coming up with Z words — zoo, zoological, zoology, uh, uh, uh.  Then T says “Poop.”  “That’s not a Z,” I say, “Poop is a ‘P’.”

T looks at me like I’m an idiot.  “Poop isn’t pee!  Poop is food!  Pee is water!”

Important Parenting Lesson #214

When your child asks for a bowl in which to throw up, NO MATTER HOW HEALTHY S/HE MAY LOOK OR SOUND, GET THE DAMN BOWL.

Have I mentioned the four-year-old’s threats?

He asked for food, about half an hour after vehemently rejecting his lovingly-prepared lunch. I told him he’d need to wait until I took a break, and he asked why, and I told him I wanted him to suffer. (It’s my generic “you already know the answer” answer. They know better. Trust me. We just have warped senses of humor around here.)

T says: You DON’T. And if you do, I’ll take over New Mexico.

There’s a threat for you!